Ah, chicken - the quintessential staple of any meat-eater's diet. Whether it's baked, fried, grilled, or roasted, chicken is a versatile and delicious protein source that can be prepared in countless ways. But if you're looking to ruin your meal and potentially harm yourself and others, then here are some tips on how not to cook chicken:
Don't worry about washing your hands: Who has time to wash their hands these days? Just dive right into the chicken with your grubby paws and spread those germs around. After all, salmonella is just a myth, right?
Don't worry about the expiration date: Expiration dates are just a suggestion, aren't they? If the chicken smells a little funky, just give it a good rinse and toss it in the oven. What's the worst that could happen?
Don't bother with a meat thermometer: Who needs a meat thermometer when you can just eyeball it? If the chicken looks done on the outside, it must be cooked through on the inside, right? Besides, a little bit of pink never hurt anyone.
Cook at the wrong temperature: Forget about cooking the chicken at the recommended temperature. If you want to ensure your chicken is dry and flavorless, cook it at a high temperature for a short amount of time, or a low temperature for a long amount of time. Bonus points if you forget to preheat the oven.
Don't let it rest: Resting the chicken? What's the point? If you're hungry, just dive right in and burn your mouth on the scalding hot chicken. Who needs taste buds, anyway?
So there you have it, folks - some helpful tips on how not to cook chicken. Of course, if you actually want to enjoy your meal and avoid food poisoning, then you might want to do the opposite of everything listed above. Happy cooking!
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